Abusive Teen Dating – Why does it happen? – Part 3
By Terry Bailey
Teen romances are filled with many ups and downs. Teenagers are, by their nature, prone to emotional highs and lows. There are many reasons for this and anyone who has been a teen or been around a teen understands that those years are fraught with highs and lows that seem to arrive and leave on no set schedule.
As Charles Dickens noted, “They are the best of times and the worst of times.” It is also a certainty that teens do not enter into a close relationship with ideas of abusing one another. But…abuse happens. In 95% of abusive relationships it is a situation where the male is abusing the female. The question comes to mind – Why do boyfriends abuse their girlfriends?
There are many reason that abuse happens. It is never a cut and dried answer. Often it is a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Listed below are factors that usually come into play in teenage dating abuse.
1. People abuse their partners because they believe they have the right to control the person they’re dating. Often the abusive partner thinks they know best and that entitles them to control the other person. Undoubtedly, they believe that they should be in charge in the relationship.
2. Abuse is a learned behavior. When boys grow up in a household where the women are abused and controlled by the men, they simply believe that is how things should be. It could be that they learn abusive patterns from friends or popular culture.
No matter where it’s learned, it’s not ok and it’s never justified. It is important to know that abuse is a choice, and it’s not one that anyone has to make.
Anyone can be abusive and anyone can be the victim of abuse. It happens regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race or economic background.
It is important to keep in mind that teenagers are developing physically and psychologically. They are not expert in interpersonal communication, problem solving, and managing anger and jealousy. Dating is an excellent way to learn and practice these skills. It is also a way for destructive behaviors to developn
Violence is related to certain risk factors. Risks of having unhealthy relationships increase for teens who
Believe that dating violence is acceptable
Display aggression towards peerUse drugs or illegal substances
Engage in early sexual activity and have multiple sexual partners
Have a friend involved in dating violence
Witness or experience violence in the home
Dating violence can be prevented. It takes the concentrated effort of teens, their families, and school and community organizations working together.
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